-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow! hello! hey, audience! how are you? welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. happy friday! [ cheers and applause ] thank you all for coming to my beer summit. i'm so happy. [ laughter ] you know, i read online today that, this morning, that president obama's approval rating has dropped to an all-time low of 48%. or as george bush calls it, "kicking ass." [ laughter ] he's 48%. obama should have listened to my high school principal. "drinking beer won't make people like you, jimmy." [ laughter ] president obama said today that congress probably won't vote on his health care bill until october. yeah, what's the rush, congress? take your time. it's not like there's some crazy flu epidemic out there or anything like that. [ laughter ]

♪ swine [ laughter ] yesterday, nancy pelosi accused insurance companies of deliberately trying to kill the health care bill. pelosi was so angry that she started arranging her face into a scowl. [ laughter ] really angry. i just heard that kara dioguardi's deal is set and she will return next season to "american idol." i also heard that paula abdul has signed her deal to appear in next season of "intervention." [ laughter ] they both should be fantastic. both should be fantastic shows. president obama's awarding the presidential medal of freedom to stephen hawking. not for his work in physics, just for being the voice that inspired kanye west. [ ughter ] [ in a robotic voice ] "am i kanye west or am i stephen hawking? hard to tell." harder, faster, stronger." [ laughter ] scientists at a university in britain claim to have discovered a new state of matter that they've never seen before. a huge story in england. wait, false alarm.

it was just toothpaste. sorry. [ laughter and boos ] [ cheers and applause ] that's all it was. that's all it was. that's all it was. [ applause ] that's all it was. it was just toothpaste. buffalo bills wide receiver, terrell owens, he has a new breakfast cereal named after him. t.o.'s honey toasted oats. if you look closely, every box says "best before 2004." [ laughter and applause ] that's nice. getting sporty on me. [ drum roll ] awesome, beer summit. love it! hey, a man in florida was arrested after he attacked his roommate with a coconut, a porcelain bowl and a wooden carving. the man was charged with assault and shoplifting from pier one. [ laughter ] some of the awards at this year's emmys --

[ laughter ] thank you, higgins. some of the awards at this year's emmys will be taped ahead of time so that the show doesn't go on forever. because the main thing about these award shows is that -- ♪ >> jimmy: no, oh, my god. i want to thank my agent and -- [ speaking indistinctly ] -- and, of course, the man upstairs, lorne michaels. thank you, bye. [ laughter and applause ] the san diego zoo announced that its 17-year-old panda bear, bai yun, who is already a mother of four, is now expecting twins. slut. [ laughter ] and finally, a tow truck driver in upstate new york drove into a swimming pool because he was texting on one phone while talking on the other phone. police said the text he was sending simply said "cannonball!" [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots!

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a big friday show tonight. you know him, you love him, from "funny people," adam sandler is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so great. and it's summer. it's summer, so, there's nobody more perfect to have on here than the one and only jimmy buffett. [ cheers and applause ] he'll be on here, it's fantastic. it's a crazy good show. super, super excited. i saw "funny people" -- we got to see a screening last week. and gosh, do i love this movie. it's so good. it's, like, it's so funny. it's like -- it's apatow jokes. like, so, it's, like, crude, kind of, you know, "knocked up" funny. but then gets some good, poignant moments in there. it's, like, kind of -- it's just fantastic. i love that movie so much. and adam sandler has always been one of my idols, i mean, growing up. and i actually auditioned for "saturday night live." the reason why i got on "saturday night live" is because

i did an impression of adam sandler in the audition. [ laughter ] and, like, they always tl you, they always go, "oh, loren michaels doesn't laugh. when you're doing these auditions." like, "oh, loren michaels doesn't laugh." "okay, that's fine." then lorne michaels, who produces "saturday night live" and this show and "30 rock" and a thousand other things. but he's great. so -- and i'm nervous. so, i'm like, "okay." and then, like -- so the guy is putting the microphone on me. he goes -- "lorne michaels doesn't laugh. you know that, right?" i go, like, "okay, that's fine." and somebody said, "who here is jimmy fallon?" i go, "that's me." they go, "come on this way. it's the audition. just so you know, lorne michaels doesn't laugh." [ laughter ] i go, "okay, that's okay." [ laughter ] ring me into makeup. the guy is putting makeup on. he's like, "you know lorne doesn't --" i go, "i doesn't laugh, exactly, i know this." [ laughter ] so, i get out there. i go on the stage and i'm doing my act. and it's just, like, a bunch of different impressions. and i get to adam sandler. and i do, i just went like -- [ impersonating adam sandler speaking gibberish ] [ laughter ] you know, just like that. [ impersonating adam sandler speaking gibberish ] [ laughter ]

and i see lorne michaels start laughing. and i see he puts his head in hands and i was, like, "you know, even if i don't get the show, what a cool story i could tell my kids." i was, like, a "wonder years" moment. [ laughter ] you know, i was like, everything was slow motion. like -- ♪ what would you do if i sang out of tune ♪ [ laughter and applause ] my best friend, paul, was there. he had weird glasses. [ laughter ] it was fantastic. i'm psyched to have adam sandler. i mean, what a great guy. and i got to meet him. you know, they always say, like, "don't meet your idols," and stuff like that. not the case with this guy. he's the nicest guy in the world. i'm so happy that he's here on the show tonight. i'm so psyched. anyways, today's friday, and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff here. and, you know, i check my inbox, return some e-mails and, of course, send out my thank you notes. well, i'm running bit behind today. so, i thought that you guys wouldn't mind if i just write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? roots, can i get some thank you note writing music. ♪ [ laughter ]

♪ >> jimmy: don't know why i did that. "thank you, famous youtube video, where the entire wedding party dances down the aisle." [ laughter ] "you made me laugh. you really made my day." ♪ "thank you, beer summit." [ laughter ] "most america may not be able to find michigan on a map, but because of you, they know who was drinking blue moon and who was drinking bud light in the backyard of the white house. thanks, beer summit." [ laughter ] ♪ "thank you, brett favre, for finally announcing this week once and for all that you are

retiring for good and will not be playing this season. we look forward to seeing you play." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] "thank you, madonna's arms. if someone from out of town ever asked for directions to the nearest set of "flesh twizzlers," i'll know where to send them." [ laughter and ohs ] i'm not sure i should send that one. [ laughter ] >> steve: it's from the heart. >> jimmy: i do like madge. ♪ "thank you, tequila. you know why." [ laughter ] ♪ "thank you, 'real housewives of atlanta' for defending the one truism of the universe.

that idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on tv." [ laughter and applause ] "you will forever be on my tivo. i love you!" ♪ [ laughter ] "thank you, the woodwork, for letting everyone who has ever met michael jackson crawl out of you and on to the "today" show and cnn." [ laughter ] "whatever happened to rest in peace? no one cares about what his chef thought about the "dangerous" album. thank you." there you have it. those are my thank you notes, everybody. we'll be right back with "rush limbaugh karaoke." come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. you guys look great, by the way. you know, every once in a great

while, something comes alo that transcends the collective conscience. challenges us to think, makes us see the world a whole new light. [ echoing ] questions the very essence of our moral fiber. you know where this is going. it's time for "rush limbaugh karaoke." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ rush limbaugh karaoke time karaoke time ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to "rush limbaugh karaoke," everybody. where we combine soulful music with the equally soulful words of conservative radio host, rush limbaugh. words taken from the mouth of the lightning rod for controversy himself, higgins, who's on the mic tonight? >> steve: well, jimmy, coming to the stage are tasha lumburger, angela allen and shumpy white. come on down, shumpy! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> "rush limbaugh karaoke" is a registered trademark of the jimmy fallon corporation. >> jimmy: all right, welcome, welcome, welcome. thank for coming to the "rush limbaugh karaoke" club tonight. what's your name?

>> tasha. >> jimmy: tasha, now, would you consider yourself the biggest fan of "rush limbaugh karaoke"? >> i guess i am now. >> jimmy: wow, all right. [ laughter ] you came to the right show. hey, what's your name? >> i'm angela. >> jimmy: you're not shumpy? >> no, i'm not shumpy. >> jimmy: okay, angela. [ laughter ] angela, do you remember the first time you ever played "rush limbaugh karaoke" as a young child? >> no, not really. >> jimmy: foggy? >> yeah, it's really foggy. >> jimmy: you must remember something about it? >> yeah, i was about 6. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] must have been fantastic. [ laughter ] >> shumpy. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] all right, i must ask you, your name is shumpy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, and always shumpy or is that a nickname? >> nickname, t my christian name. mom's going to hate it. >> jimmy: what's your christian name? >> aaron. >> jimmy: aaron? [ laughter ] aaron "shumpy" white? >> yep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where does shumpy come from? >> college nickname we don't talk about anymore. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> once the statute of limitations has run out. >> jimmy: okay, very good. okay, very good. good luck, shumpy.

you ever met anyone named shumpy before? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, here's how we play. you each stand with your back to the chart. you read the words in front of you. the actual words of rush himself. they'll change from white to yellow to help you follow along. and at the end we'll decide the winner based on audience applause. and, steve, tell us what tonight's winner will be taking home. >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's winner will receive a brand new karaoke system. sing along to your favorite songs and follow the lyrics on the built-in monitor. includes a microphone and an av cable. jimmy? >> jimmy: wow, wow, this is amazing. this looks like it costs at least 30 bucks. [ laughter ] thank you very much. what was your name? >> monkus [ laughter ] >> jimmy: monkus. all right, thank you, monkus. [ laughter ] have you met shumpy? [ laughter ] monkus. [ laughter ] okay. here we go. contestant number one, you're up. now, here's your microphone right here. you excited?

>> yes, i am. >> jimmy: now, remember, you can sing however you want to sing because these aren't really real songs. [ laughter ] just as long as you're singing and not talking. that's the rule. tonight, you'll be singing a song that's an ode to our president. it's called "obama hates this country." [ laughter ] there it is. you ready? here's your mic. there it is. take your place. once you're up there, roots, let's take it away. ♪ ♪ he hes this country he hates this country and i think obama is losing it ♪ ♪ and he's got a chip on his shoulder ♪ ♪ they say obama is out acting ♪

♪ a spoiled brat chicago thug ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, beautiful, beautiful job. come on down. you stand there, you guys move down. there you go. okay. just want to switch it up. that's all right, switching up. yeah, take your time. take your time. that was fantastic. >> why, thank you. >> jimmy: if i shut my eyes it was like rush himself was up there. [ laughter ] all right. you're up. contestant number two, go on up there. now, your next song is called "obama care nazis." [ laughter ] and it's a topical song about the new health care bill. you ready? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: well, good luck. roots, take it away. ♪ ♪ the democratic party is out to destroy the private sector ♪ ♪ obama care is the end of the united states

as we know it ♪ ♪ he was raised by communists ♪ ♪ the brothers of liberals nazis, communists, socialists and so forth ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic. thank you very much. come on down here. thank you, that was fantastic. all right. last up, we have shumpy. shumpy white. shumpy, you know tomorrow marks the 21st anniversary of rush's show being on the air. >> i did not. >> jimmy: yeah, well, we've added a little classic greatest hits quote in thisla o.ne the song is a thank you to hisne audience. it's called "thank you audience." [ laughter ] pretty cool. take your time, shumpy. now, shumpy go up and do it for your mom, okay? >> i will. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whenever you're ready,

roots. ♪ ♪ people want to be inspired they don't want to hear every day how everything's going ♪ ♪ to hell in a basket [ applause ] ♪ i have shown you you can get ratings on radio ♪ ♪ being positive respecting the audience ♪

♪ and i'm addicted to prescription pain medication ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shumpy white, everybody. did you improvise that last line? you did very good. [ laughter ] good job, everybody. all right, audience, your applause will now determine our winner. is it contestant number one? [ cheers and applause ] contestant number two? [ cheers and applause ] or contestant number three? [ cheers and applause ] i think we have a winner here. contestant number three. you win the karaoke machine, buddy. that's yours. that's all yours. >> all right. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. guys, thanks for playing. you did a great job. [ laughter ] here's some "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirts. shumpy, did you break it already? [ laughter ]

here's some "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirts, because nobody goes home empty-handed. and thanks to everybody for playing "rush limbaugh karaoke." we'll be right back with adam sandler! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so many arthritis pain relievers -- i just want fewer pills and relief that lasts all day. take 2 extra strength tylenol every 4 to 6 hours?!? taking 8 pills a day... and if i take it for 10 days -- that's 80 pills. just 2 aleve can last all day. perfect. choose aleve and you can be taking four times... fewer pills than extra strength tylenol. just 2 aleve have the strength to relieve arthritis pain all day. [ sighs ] whoo-hoo! this hair color is a washout. try nice'n easy with color-blend technology. in 1 step, get a blend of 3 tones. highlights, lowlights, and shine. it makes a fresh, light-filled frame for your pretty face. nice'n easy. your right color.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. our first guest is one of the biggest comedy stars in the universe. his new film, "funny people," is in theaters today. we're thrilled he's here tonight. say hello to one of my all-time favorites, mr. adam sandler, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing, pal?

>> hey, man, thanks for saying all that nice stuff up top. nice to see you and the roots, rock 'n' roll. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right, unbelievable, right? >> sounds great every night. i've been watching you, buddy? >> jimmy: every single night? >> as much as i can. yeah, you're doing great, you look great. you're handsome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many shows do you think you've watched? total? >> i'd say about 15. >> jimmy: hey, that's good. i liked last night, the air drums. i like it all. >> jimmy: hey, you do watch. >> i watch as much as i can. and -- >> jimmy: thanks so much. that means a lot. because, you know, i used to get compared to you a lot because i have dark hair, i play the guitar and i -- >> right, right. that's right. you sang songs. >> jimmy: i sang songs, right. >> you were always cuter than me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, never, never. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: never, never, never. but now you're finally -- i have a talk show. and this is weird. >> i used to see jimmy when he was -- when i would go on tour, back in the day. you used to show up. >> jimmy: with randy siegel. >> with randy. and he was a young kid. and i had no idea -- i swear to god, i didn't even know you were a comedian for a while. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because i wasn't funny? >> no, no! i just thought you were banging randy siegel.

[ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, no, no. i wasn't, no. i remember that. i went to -- i used to see you on tour and stuff like that. and then we went -- you had a party. a big -- >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: a big hollywood party. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: and i went there and it was you and chris farley. >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and i was just so nervous to meet you. and i was just, like, stuttering and, like sweating. i'm doing it now, too. [ laughter ] but i remember going, i was like, "hey --" and i said hi to chris. and i said, i go, "nice to meet you chris, i'm a big fan." he's like, "nice to meet you." he was really nice. and then you came over. and i, like, "wow, he's really serious." and then you came over and you were like -- [ impersonating adasandler speaking gibberish ] [ laughter ] and he was like -- [ screaming ] and then he just started going nuts, immediately. i was like -- >> that's right, yeah. farley would stay reserved until he ft safe. [ laughter ] he was like, around a stranger, he'd be, like -- [ mumbling ] and then if it was someone he knew -- [ screaming ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was super fun. but i haven't seen you in a while. and now you -- i know you have -- you have a new addition to the family. >> i do have a new addition, there. but i have a baby, but i want to

talk about the iphone i got. [ laughter and applause ] yes, it's very good. because it took me a while, jimmy. you know, i tried to stay away from texting. because i always get mad at people who text and stuff. it's very rude. yeah, it's rude when you think you're telling someone a story. they're gog -- [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] that was a pretty good impression of myself. [ laughter ] but, anyways, so, you ever -- this ia "did you ever" thing. did you ever text somebody and then they text you back. and then you text them back. and then they call you. [ laughter ] and then you're like, "i thought we were just texting." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you don't want to pick up the phone. >> it's easier to text. you can end it, so, you just text them. they text you, "why didn't you pick up?" and then you text back, "i didn't hear." [ laughter ] and then they text back, "yes, you did." and then you text them, "i swear to god, i didn't." [ laughter ] and then they text, "you're a liar. i'm right next to you. i heard it ring." [ laughter ] and then you text back, "sorry, grandma." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's cool, at least

she's texting now. >> yeah, i know. it feels good, though. your thumbs and all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she must be excited, you got the baby. >> i do have the second baby. a nice little girl. >> jimmy: very cool, that's awesome. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's cool. >> only problem was -- is i have a 3-year-old and then a little 8-month-old. so, like, there's a -- you kind of feel like you're cheating a little bit on the older one. you know? all of the sudden, there's a new girl in the house. and i find myself, you know, acting weird. like, i'll be holding the 8-month-old and being loving. and then, my little 3-year-old will walk in and i'll be like, "this isn't what you thought." [ laughter ] and the 3-year-old storms out. and then the 8-month-old is like, "you have to make a decision." [ laughter ] "and just for the record, i'm younger." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it hard having kids, being like -- being adam sandler? >> being a superstar? yeah. [ laughter ] being one of the greats. [ laughter ] yeah, it's weird. it is hard, because i go, you know, i pick my kid up at school

and i'm famous. so, like, i get there and the whole -- everybody is just staring at me. you know, every parent. every -- the principal is like, "sir, you have to put that joint out." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you can't do that at a school. > "sir, you -- you -- if you're going to wear sweat pants, you need to wear underwear." [ laughter ] you know, that kind of stuff. >> jimmy: unbelievable. it must be tough. that's ridiculous. but you've been spending a lot of time -- you must be, like, mr. mom with all these kids and you're hanging out with a bunch of kids now. >> you know what i've learned being around a lot of kids? a lot of kids are naked in front of you. and you never, jimmy, of course, you've been in this predicament, a little -- like, a friend of yours has a kid, like, say, 2-year-old boy comes in naked and you don't know what -- where you're supposed to look, you know? [ laughter ] so, like, you realize if you look at it for too long, you know, your buddy is like, "whoa, hey, easy." [ laughter ] yeah, but if you don't look at it, that's a weird message to

send out, too. that's saying, "if i look, i'm going to have to nibble on it." [ laughter ] [ audience oohs >> jimmy: so, that's -- yeah. >> you know? all you're supposed to do, jimmy -- but if you just take a look at it and go, "that a boy." >> jimmy: this isn't about me, though. [ laughter ] you're telling the story -- i don't have this problem. >> when you have kids and you get to tell them the story about lorne michaels laughing at your joke. [ laughter ] this is for your future. >> jimmy: at my joke. >> yeah, you're adam sandler. >> jimmy: you can't get comfortable. just take it all off. you can -- >> i'm good. i'm good. no, no, no. i don't want to start trouble here. >> jimmy: i don't even know what this is. [ laughter ] it's a present i got for you. don't open this yet. >> all right, let me just -- i'm sorry, jimmy. i don't mean any of it. >> jimmy: it's like jerry lewis. hello. >> let me cover this in case we get [ bleep ] excited. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that might happen on

the show. it happens a lot. you've seen me, obviously. you are watching. >> 11 to 15 times i saw you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, it's dropping. the number is dropping. [ laughter ] speaking of 11, though, i know this is your 11th anniversary. >> my 11th -- i met my woman 11 years ago. we've been together, yeah. and it's very nice. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. thanks, jimmy. she's a good girl and she loves you, too. she watches -- i say out of the 15 times i've seen y, she's been in on every one of them. you know, and never like -- when she laughs at your stuff -- you are one of the few guys i like so much when she laughs i go, "yeah, yeah, that was good." i don't get jealous. [ laughter ] "that was good." but, yeah, 11 years. so, we went over our old cards, the anniversary cards, and we were reading. and there's a pattern. you know, all her cards are the greatest cards in the world. "you are the nicest. i love you. thanks for being a teammate. we're partners forever.

yeah, you kno i love you, you're a great dad." all my cards to her start off with, "i'm so sorry." [ laughter ] "you deserve better." [ laughter ] "i appreciate it." >> jimmy: we got more with adam sandler when we come back, everybody. so, stay tuned. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ht hi. number two, please. would you like that to hurt now or later? uh, what? sir, it's a simple question. do you want hetburn pain, now or later? these heartburn medicines make you choose... between hurting now or later. pepcid complete doesn't. it starts to neutralize acid in seconds... and keeps it under control all day or all night. sometimes you gotta make compromises, man. no, you don't... man. pepcid complete, works now and works later. now with a great new taste. garth, you're up. hold on, i'm at capitalone.com picking a photo... for my credit card. here's one from my prom. oh, what memories. how 'bout one from our golf outing?

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man. yeah. "funny people." i was lying earlier. i didn't see the movie. [ light laughter ] no. no, i really -- i saw thmovie. >> you have to lie sometimes to guests, don't you? >> jimmy: well, sometimes, they don't like set up a screening. so, i can't see the movie. it's physically impossible. >> do you tell the guests that or do you just say, "i hear it's great." what do you do? >> jimmy: i say i hear it's good because -- unless i haveo say i'm from the future. [ laughter ] because if your movie comes out this weekend, i've got to see it tomorrow.

>> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but i saw yours. you set up a screening. i was laughing. >> yeah, there was crying. >> jimmy: uh-huh. wet my pants. [ laughter ] but that happens every movie. [ laughter ] that happened during "wall-e," as well. do you say "wall-e" or "wall-e"? >> i say "wall-e" because i saw "wall-e" with my kid last year and she just started talking and the whole movie she's going "wall-e, wall-e." [ laughter ] the whole time. the whole time, it's like my favorite memory. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: is that her first movie, or no? >> i -- no. the first movie she saw was -- oh, i know. she saw one with my wife and my mother. she saw the one that -- about the environment. what's that called again? >> jimmy: "earth"? [ laughter ] >> the vice president. >> jimmy: oh, al gore. "an inconvenient truth." >> she loved it. >> jimmy: kids loved the movie. [ laughter ] babies love that movie. "why's the ice kept melting?" >> jimmy: but, dude, i love "funny people." you are so good in it. it's funny as hell in this movie.

>> you identify with it because of the comedy world and stuff. >> jimmy: well, yeah. like seth rogen plays like an up and coming comedian. and you hire him as an assistant to write jokes. >> right. >> jimmy: and to write jokes for you. >> exactly. yes, i hire him. i'm dying in the movie, everybody. but don't worry -- >> jimmy: it's funny dying. [ laughter ] that's the parts i laughed at. no. >> i agree. it is funny to see adam sandler on his death bed, but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> no, no, no. it's funny. it made me think about real life and the way i'm gointo die, jimmy. and i started -- you know, you wish you could choose your way you're going to die. that's the worst thing about death. it's not told to you how it's going to happen. all of a sudden, you're dead. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> but if i got to pick how i die, i am praying it's at a yankees game and a foul ball to the head. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's what you want? >> well, the reason i want that

is just for the entertainment. the tivo entertainment value of just rewinding and going, "right there, that's where he died." oh, and then having somebody go, "on, no, no. i think he choked on the hot dog." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like a jfk conspiracy deal. >> exactly. >> jimmy: yeah. i don't even know how i would want to die. sleep -- in my sleep, right? >> i'm guessing drinking will be involved. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i do like to drink. yeah, that's true. that's right. >> i've seen jimmy out before drinking. i'dive it an 80% shot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you think so? that's going to be it? >> no, that's not going to be like a drunk driving thing. it's going to be just -- >> jimmy: liver failure. [ laughter ] >> i'm think mid-story, one too many shots. and just like, "[ bleep ], jimmy just died." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would be a good way to go. well, i want to talk about "funny people" because it's out this weekend. you guys are so good. you have a chemistry that's amazing. we have a clip from the movie "funny people." here it is. >> i want you to possibly do me

a favor. >> okay, yeah. what? >> kill me. >> what? >> nobody knows we know each other. you're a stranger. you can get away with this. i've got a gun in the other room. it's untraceable. i'll give you $50,000. don't make me suffer. please kill me, ira. i'm begging you. >> can you at least give me a night to think about it? >> huh! think about it? you would do it. >> oh, i hate you, man. oh, no! >> ira, i misread you. you're sick. you're a murderer. [ laughter ] n oh, s screw -- oh, man. >> what would you have done for $100,000? chop my head off? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "funny people" is in theaters now. he's the greatest guy in the whole world. i hope this movie crushes, number one. biggest movie in the world! give it up for adam sandler, everybody. jimmy buffett when we come back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ o and checked for clogged pipes. if that's not it, we dig by the septic tank

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a music legend and all-around great guy. his summer concerts sell out in minutes. his books top best-seller lists and everyone knows the words to all his songs. currently on the road for his latest "summer's cool" tour, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome jimmy buffett, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that's right. they dressed up for you. >> i know it. >> jimmy: roots are looking good. >> it's a non-uniform night for the roots. >> jimmy: yeah, totally, exactly. when was the last time you wore a tie? >> catholic school. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> and that was a long time ago. >> jimmy: yeah, you don't have to do that. >> i have two, but i just look at them. >> jimmy: what if you go to a funeral or something? >> well, you know, as the superstar who just left said, "you can get away with a lot of stuff." [ laughter ] so, a black t-shirt works for a tie in my world. >> jimmy: yeah, and a wedding? >> try not to go to them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't like weddings? >> i was a wedding singer, and i have those kind of memories. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> yeah, it's like playing new year's gigs, you know, when all the nonprofessionals are out. those kind of things. >> jimmy: yeah, they have those horrible -- yeah, i know what exactly you're talking about. >> you know those, yeah. those crowds. >> jimmy: i've been to so many of those weddings where you get tired of them after a while.

like, "okay, can't i just send you a present? is that what you want?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's not fun anymore. but i love this story. you flew in this morning. >> i did. >> jimmy: and landed in the hudson river. >> east river. >> jimmy: in the east river. >> hudson river would be tricky. >> jimmy: you'd be in rhinebeck. i don't know where you'd be. >> you know, in the east river, it's pretty amazing, still. >> jimmy: right over here. yeah. >> i mean, you can still fly a sea plane into new york city. it's still an island, if everybody didn't notice. [ laughter ] it goes all the way around. >> jimmy: we live the island man. that's the way we live here. >> it is an island existence here, man. it is. the island of manhattan. >> jimmy: manhattan. >> yeah, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i love that you -- and you just fly your own plane? >> yeah. so, it's ol. i left sag harbor today and flew in. i won't be flying home, though. it's a little dicey out there. >> jimmy: is it raining outside? >> it is raining outside. when you go -- >> jimmy: well, i appreciate you doing this and playing with the roots tonight. it's going to be exciting. >> oh, it's going to be fun. >> jimmy: your concerts sell out

in minutes. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everyone loves you. a lot of people say, like, your concerts are their favorite concerts of all time. >> well, you know, we just -- being a shameless entertainer, somebody told me once, ou try to be a little bit good at a lot of things." because i'm not the best guitar player or the best singer by any stretch of the imagination. but i spent a lot of shameless years on new orleans and bourbon street and somehow i connected. and i'm very thankful i am still here. >> jimmy: yeah, that might be where i die one day. [ laughter ] >> you know, but the shows -- yeah. well, you know -- >> jimmy: if sandler gets his wish. >> well, adam's going to be a foul ball. it would be -- i'd go to the space station and just open the door. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. just a bodily explosion into space? [ laughter ] >> boom, yeah. >> jimmy: screw the ashes, you want blood and guts flying around. >> whether it's a simultaneous combustion out in space.

>> jimmy: yeah, oh, man. that'd be rad. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, that's number two on my list. do you mind? >> no, go ahead. >> jimmy: take your number one and make it my number two. you're on tour. it's the "summer's cool" tour. >> yep. >> jimmy: is the one that you're on now. and there's rumors that you have another album coming out. >> there's rumor of one in november. i hadn't done it in awhile. so, i figured i better go do one. >> jimmy: it's exciting. >> yeah it started -- we did a trip to africa about three years ago. went to this incredible music festival in timbuktu. and i went with some friends. it kind of got started there. it's called "buffet hotel." that's the name of the hotel/railroad station/whore house in bamako. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's nuer three for me, by the way. [ laughter and applause ] >> and i played it. and the cia was in attendance and everybody -- >> jimmy: oh, my god. that is rad. >> so, it started there. and three years later it kind of got me writing andt's ready. so, it will come out in november. >> jimmy: do you have a name or not yet? >> "buffet hotel." >> jimmy: that's it. >> because most people misspell my name. >> jimmy: jimmy buffet. >> and this is actually called "buffet hotel." and it was just a sign at the train station in bamako and i liked it. >> jimmy: that's going to be rad. well, dude, i appreciate you coming on our show. you're going to rock it out.

>> thank you, jimmy. yeah, we're going to rock out. >> jimmy: jimmy buffett, everybody, when we get back. jimmy buffett and the roots. stick ound! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i love beer. i drink beer daily on taste panel here at the brewery. this isn't like other beer companies. everyone in here knows how to brew. we're a company of beer geeks. you all have yourself a good weekend. (man) samuel adams employees from the head of the legal department to the newest sales rep that we hired learns how to brew beer. you need passion. you have to actually believe in what you're doing. that's why i'm here. i love beer. sam adams tastes great because happy employees make better beer. i love my job. and you're already up to a thousand yards in just half an hour. that's why you need a diaper that flexes in all the right places. cruisers with comfort flex. it flexes to fit in high motion areas, especially around the legs and waist. it's our best fit ever to help stop leaks no matter how much you move.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. welcome back, everybody. get ready for the first ever "margaritaville" sousaphone solo. performing "margaritaville" with the help of the roots, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome jimmy buffett! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ living on sponge cake watching the sun bake all of those sousaphones covered with oil ♪

♪ strumming my six string on my front porch swing smell those shrimp ♪ ♪ hey, they're beginning to boil ♪ >> bubble, bubble, bubble! ♪ wasting away again in margaritaville searching for my lost shaker of salt ♪ >> salt, salt. ♪ some people claim that there's a woman to blame ♪ ♪ but i know could be my fault ♪ ♪ i don't know the reason i stay here all season with nothing to show but this brand new tattoo ♪

♪ but it's a real beauty a manhattan cutie how it got here i haven't a clue ♪ ♪ wasting away again in margartiaville searching for my lost shaker of salt ♪ >> salt, salt, salt. ♪ some people claim that there's a woman to blame but i know it's somebody's fault ♪ ♪ ♪ i blew out my flip flop

♪ ♪ i blew out my flip flop stepped on a pop top i roke my leg twice i had to limp on back home ♪ ♪ but there's booze in the blender and soon it will render ♪ ♪ that frozen concoction that helps me hang on ♪ >> hang on, hang on, hang on. ♪ wasting away again in margaritaville yes, i am yes, i am ♪ ♪ searchingor my lost shaker of salt ♪ >> salt, salt, salt.

♪ some people claim that there's a woman to blame and i know it's my own damn fault ♪ ♪ some people claim that there's a woman to blame and i know it's my own damn fault ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! yeah! that was great. you're the man. thank you so much. that was great. fantastic. jimmy buffett, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to adam sandler, jimmy buffett and the greatest band in late night, the roots. stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. [ cheers and applause ] ♪